And They Call This Guy Crazy???

At Sophia's and my wedding one of her relatives quipped, "What's the matter--they don't make tuxedo pants with cargo pockets?"

That about sums up my penchant for carryin' stuff on my person. Not a lot of stuff: keys, wallet, phone, sunglasses, possibly my iPod or a flash drive; possibly a little Moleskine notebook and pen; possibly a book I'm reading or one or two other essentials...

but Crazy Eric has taken cargo garments to a level of extravagance only a Frenchman could dream up. Think of Napoleon... think of Rabelais... think of Gustave Moreau, maybe, paintbrushes and Les Fables Egyptiennes et Greques in his smock-pockets. Crazy Eric's carrying 1300 essential items in his jacket, more in his pants, and more in special ankle-bags. Why? "I simply saw," Eric writes with pure logique, "that there are many problematic situations that could be avoided if you had some usual objects (scissors, light pencil, and so on...)."

Look at it! Just look! Le jacket! Et... les poches de jambes!

What is all that stuff? Here's a list.

You're saying you've never needed a "very light plastic poncho" or a "small microscope pen"? OK, fair enough. But don't come crying to me when you do.

You can go crying to Crazy Eric, because he sounds nice and might let you borrow a usual object for a minute.

I'm not making fun of him! Stop laughing!