Saturday, January 21, 2006

Sometimes When We Touch

no's just the song that's playing right now...I used to loathe this song, and I still think it's kitsch--bad music--

but it's a good metaphor for right now, for today--

for my dear Angel, Who's put up with my ADD mindflights all day; with my fantasizing and thwarted chivalry; with my grand semicolons; with my hunger for oblivion and my anger and my fear and my claws; we went to the occult bookstore and an hundred vampire waifs were gather'd there; shelves held seemingly all of Uncle Al and more gnosticism than you can shake a stick at ("break open the stick and there am I")...

we came home to the chaos and we went for a walk and we made some food so spicy it's banned in Thailand and we're going to have a cigar and a snifter of Grand Marnier and we're going to contemplate the Infinite.

and this will be therapeutic, sitting in the garage, listening to the endless chitchat of the across-the-street porch people, watching the smoke twirl itself into nothing--life ends, we die, what did it mean?

but when the dove descends--when I let my Angel speak--

when the sun rises in my heart--

the oblivion's finally real...She's me, I'm nothing...rended...endless blank spaces on maps yet undrawn--


  1. "Uncle Al" -- When I read that I was hit with this great retro image of Laugh-In's Alan Seuss:

    "This is Uncle Al,
    The kiddies' pal.
    Hello, little friends, hello!"

    Not quite what I think you had in mind....

    That oblivion is tricky -- resigning oneself to it versus relinquishing oneself to it. Transcendant either way, but the relinquishing can bring such a wondrous joy, if only for a moment.

  2. !!!!!!!!!!!!!
    thank you for the Laugh-In reference! sooooo funny...

    you got it, sistah, re oblivion. the post was slightly dramatized, for the sake of entertainment, but recently I've been having little moments of Oneness that both have made me more myself and have made me feel somewhat impatient with "life."

    Pema Chodron says not to prefer nirvana to samsara, and I'm going to keep reminding myself.